A glorious thing happened on the Internet today. More unusual than a dress made from one long piece of string and more surreal than an affordable way to join the Balmain army—and yet at the same time, it honestly isn't all that surprising. Kim Kardashian West just released an application to compete to be "beauty director of the Kardashian apps" on her upcoming Lifetime reality show, Glam Masters. The form is so intense it's like Kardashian and Co. are looking into your very soul.
A few details: If chosen, you'll be one of "four lucky bloggers" to "go head-to-head on each week’s episode of Glam Masters. Only a few will make it to semifinals and eventually finals, where one will become the Glam Master. The next big name in the beauty world could be YOU." Obviously, we immediately clicked to the application, where it became quickly clear our chances at becoming the Glam Master are small if not nonexistent.
The app opens with semistandard Q's like "Are you a makeup artist, makeup enthusiast, beauty blogger/vlogger, or all of the above?" and "How many followers do you have on Instagram? YouTube followers?" It escalates with "How do you respond to competition?" and "What is quirky or interesting about you? OR Tell me about your guilty pleasures?" And then "What is your biggest insecurity?" and "How do you spend your free time (weekends & nights out)?"
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Our favorite question is "Will you be appearing on any TV shows that are scheduled to air in the next year? If YES, which one(s)?," just because of the option to specify multiple. It reads like the Kardashians…think other people are Kardashians. We love it. The whole thing is giving us strong flashbacks to when Rihanna held an open casting call for Fenty Beauty makeup artists, with the added bonus of questions that are so obscure they'd be an HR nightmare anywhere else.
And to be fair, the Kardashians know stardom means surrendering your entire persona to the camera. Truly, the application scrutinizes every single one of your life choices—and adds a caution that if you're under 18, you need a parent or guardian's consent. Because it's a Kardashian show, and the Glam Master could be a 13-year old walking among us. Anything could happen.
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Fingers crossed that Kylie, the big beauty boss herself, shows up in the Tournament of Masters finale (as it's being called). We can only imagine second-round interviews—they probably mean handing over your passwords for a full Kris evaluation. Our only tip for a winning application is to consider filling out the whole thing in Kimoji. "Annual salary?" *Kim crying Kimoji*
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